People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
