i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i love accidental penises.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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