scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
