Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
