So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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