Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
