It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
