i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm sobbing to NWA
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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