apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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