how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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