You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
