Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
