so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
