carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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