Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
