Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I will pee on everything he values.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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