i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
