no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
