A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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