Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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