We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
