R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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