if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
