dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
