Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
