i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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