fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
