My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
