she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
