Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
