I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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