so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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