and you said cock pushups were impossible
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
