brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
