I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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