I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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