Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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