dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
