She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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