I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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