Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
