Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
