Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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