guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
