No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
