ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
