Dual....:-)
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
