i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
