It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
