I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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