Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
