An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
