so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
