Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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