what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
