Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
