Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
