It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
