remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
