I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize