Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
